Goals and Realizations

Wow taking time for yourself is a great feeling!

I feel as if I have regained some control over my life once again. I realize it has only been about a week since I've been making a conscious effort to improve myself but has it already made a difference! Spending time on your own is important. In my experience it helps you be more aware of what you want in your life, short term and maybe even long term. As an example, I know I want to be in bed by a certain time, I know I want to have my room cleaned by a certain day, I know who I want to see and who I don't, I know certain conversations I would like to avoid. It's these little things I know I want that  I believe ultimately lead to a better understanding of what I'll want later on. Not to say I'll want this specific routine forever, but more a general understanding of how I want to be. Being able to make these choices feels very empowering.

My next goal is teaching myself self discipline. It's detox time! Last year I completed the detox program with Dan. It was so great to be able to have someone else to relate to while going through this detox. It's not that the detox is that difficult, it lasts only 10 days but you are always tempted to go off track. So in the spirit of personal growth, I am going to do this myself. It will be difficult because my sister won't participate in this so all the food I can't eat will be around and ever so tempting. I think this will be an interesting exercise and am very much looking forward to the process. I intend to begin this next week, Monday the 14th of February to be exact!

 I wasn't able to get out to the canal last week which I am a bit disappointed about but I will make it a point to skate twice this week. Must take advantage of it while it lasts! Also I felt I could get away with not skating because I did ski on Friday night.

Ah speaking about skiing, I know one more thing I need to address, stress management. What a process it was to get to Camp Fortune. We left the house without directions usually we would go back and make sure we have what we needed but because I had just driven there last summer, I thought "no problem, I know where to go". Well what was supposed to be a quick drive to the Gatineau Hills turned into a 2 hour adventure! Drove all the way to Buckingham on the 50, well I knew this was not right so we started to back track, but none of the exits were looking familiar and there was never one sign about the Gatineau Park or any skiing. While off at one exit Dan goes into a gas station to ask for directions. Turns out we were on the right road, just keep driving straight was all we were to do. Well a few minutes down the road Dan says, "oops I think I said Cascade, not Fortune!" Ah man we were already so far down the road we figured well lets just go to Cascade then. Oh my god, driving down dark, windy roads with no end in sight is not fun! There again was no signs for this Cascade so once again we turn around and head for Fortune. We eventually found it but what I learned is that I could not let the fact that I had forgotten where to go, and it drove me crazy. I felt so disappointed in myself because if I just would have thought it through I would realize that I was on the 50 EAST and Fortune was NORTH, DUH! Anyway so I will find a way to deal with life in a more proactive way whenever I am in a situation like that.