Just took a breath

Life is calm. The chaos has subsided. Now I sit here in my new room looking out over Ottawa while it snows beautiful big snowflakes. It's taken five years to get here. Calm. I can breathe, I can think, I can process. I can do whatever I want, however I want. I smile. I laugh. I cry. I was so tired and now I'm rested and alive.

I left for Montreal in 2013 and for the first time in 10 years I could just be. I was exhausted, I didn't realize how exhausted until I was there. I quit my job, I left my life and hid. I spent time with my mom, my sister and my grandparents. I cooked, I cleaned, I wrote, I reflected. I realized I had a life in Ottawa that was real. I had friends who were my family and I had a partner in life. I realized how much I had pushed him away and when I was gone I almost lost him. That moment I realized how far I had pushed him it was an awakening. It was time to come out of hiding and commit to him, to us and to our life. The next two years were hard work and now we're here. Happy. I understand what it means to embrace the hard times because if you make it out alive, you're closer and have a stronger appreciation for one another. That's where we are. I still have the urge to run and hide.. I still struggle with the idea of depending on people and to allow them in 100 percent. But I'm trying. I'm trying to learn that not everything ends in disaster.

I have control. I have power. I have freedom.

Now what I want is to grow into the person I've always envisioned. I can smell it...I can taste it...I feel it.

Karen-

I suppose it's time...

I want to write but words don't come easily lately. Maybe a list will be best.

2012:
-Moved in with Dan
-Relationship ended with my Father
-Quit Awakening Potentials
-Went to Halifax
-Full time Independent Consultant for Arbonne
-Sold my car

Well that's it for now...I'll work on words.

Take care.

Karen Vision 2012

This is the year of my career. 

Last year I really focused on personal development so I can move forward in my life and develop career. Now here I am a year later and I’m ready. I want to build my financial stability this year. All my actions need to take me to a place where I’m moving forward in my career. Arbonne and Awakening Potentials those are my two priorities. I also help others build their businesses, which in turn helps me grow personally and keeps me focused on moving forward in my career.

The year has already started off great! I have scheduled my business launch with Arbonne for the last weekend in March. I have been using the past couple months to train myself and organize. It’s great to have the opportunity to participate in weekly Discover Arbonne meetings; they really educate well and keep me motivated! Arbonne has such incredible training! I graduated from a Business program and I’m honestly able to say I feel I have learned more with the Arbonne University courses than I did in school! It’s fantastic!

This morning I had the opportunity to attend the Women’s Executive Network breakfast meeting; where there was a panel of 3 of the top 100 most powerful women in Canada who were speaking about Leadership. I was able to network with some incredible women and am so grateful for the experience!

You see, when you stay focused and are always working towards your vision you start to attract what you need in your life and it makes achieving your goals so easy!

Where do you want to be on this scale?

Me:
2010- I can't do it
2011- I want to do it
2012-Yes, I did it!

365-ish days later

Well my life changes more often than my sister used to change shirts when she was a kid…which was a few times a day! A lot of people have a hard time keeping up, and honestly I don’t blame them.

It’s been a year since I decided to change my life. A year since Julia, Christine and I had that tarot card reading that scared each of us more than I can put into words. I did it. I was able to completely cut off all sources that used to control my every decision and I took back control of my direction.

Where am I now? I am working in a career that I am so passionate about and is growing every day. I made the decision to have Dan back in my life. It has been an interesting 6 months and we have had some very good and encouraging talks. He understands where I am going in my life and wants to be a part of that. I know what I am looking for and know that I am trying to create evolution in my own life. Dan is in line with that. We are like minded and want the same things.

As of March 1^st I will be living downtown which is 2 years delayed. This is where I would have originally liked to move but again didn’t feel I had much choice in the matter.

I am moving forward and will keep moving forward.

Writing is not feeling so natural so I will stop.

Stay focused on your vision and you can create anything.

Had it good but the fun is over

I had it good. Dan and I were great together. I was ready to spend my life with him. Unfortunately after six years of being together he was unsure if that's what he wanted. This was very difficult to go through. Thinking you are heading one way when really, you're not, and the worst part is you know it.  You know it's falling apart. You know the life that you thought would be at one time, is no longer. It sucks, straight up.
I'm usually alright, some days I have a bad day and that's all. Dan and I see eachother once and a while but I remember why I made the decision I did, so I'm garded and it's working. Today I feel I have hit a new level or a new part of the break up process. I'm starting to be ok with it. The idea of Dan dating isn't gut wrenching anymore, still hurts but lessened.
Some days it can be hard working for his family, like 10 minutes ago I am hearing his older brother and his girlfriend (who by the way have decided to move in together after only a year together, which made me sad but then again put my situation into perspective. 1 year together and they move forward. 6 years with Dan and nothing except moving the opposite way) plan Christmas with Marcelle. There are always firsts, this is the first year I won't be a part of their planning process. Yeah it makes me a bit sad, but it's par for the course.
I have my own life to look forward to. To stay focused on what I need and I'm excited about that. Today I was feeling a bit depressed, I felt like I had veered off my path and was just standing still and I wasn't liking it. But for whatever reason, I am focused again.
Smile always.

Something Inspirational

Over the past year there have been words that spoke to  me, here are a few I've found and a couple I've written:

BE 100% in the moment!

What I learned that day is no matter how difficult something is to do, follow your heart. Something told me to get that done and as a result it was the beginning of what would be a long story of friendship, heartache, exhilaration, self discovery, motivation, and the feeling of home. KL

If you are going to say something, say it right and say it all. KL

You can't lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself.

The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better —Ralph Waldo Emerson.

To rise out of mediocrity, you must not be afraid to fail.

Live on your terms.

It's your time.

You can't lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself.

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.

Let go of those who bring you down and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.

Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.